Attitudes towards children attending boarding school have seen a significant change in recent years. Whether it’s a new approach you’re considering to your children’s education or an established tradition within your family, you may be wondering what benefits boarding schools offer the children in their care and how boarding might affect students secondary school experience.
What follows are observations of what boarding has meant to generations of pupils at Malvern College, a historic boarding and day school in the UK. Should your child board at their private school? The choice is yours and will depend on your unique child and circumstances. However, I believe the experiences students have of belonging to a boarding house are often truly irreplaceable, and not just for the most obvious reasons.
A Home from Home
The boarding house is the most important part of any independent school and ostensibly provides a place for pupils to relax, socialise and to do their homework. Most importantly, however, it provides a ‘home away from home’ environment in which each and every child can be the best version of themselves and grow from a dependent child into an independent young adult.
The boarding houses at Malvern College enrich the education process by providing pastoral care of the highest quality. Where else can you share a dormitory or a room with children who have different interests, children of different cultures, and children who all have different priorities?
I genuinely believe that boarding houses underpin the personal and academic development of every child. This is done through providing them with a safe environment, allowing them to enjoy life and be of a good influence around the school and beyond.
Establishing Strong Bonds and Friendships
The boarding house community is extremely tightly bonded and lifelong friendships are easily made. Indeed, the very first boy whom I met in my year group in my boarding house went on to become my Best Man at my wedding some fifteen years later and, furthermore, is now Godfather to my eldest son.
While day pupils remain an integrated part of house life, boarding school students spend mornings, mealtimes, evenings, and many weekends within their houses for the duration of their time at public school. This extended school life offers the chance to share real quality time with peers, to learn together, to grow together and, as I found, to form friendships which can last a lifetime.
Sending a child to boarding school is occasionally seen as a choice which may limit their relationships or social development. However, we’ve observed boarding students to have a deep understanding of how to bond with those different from themselves and take an active part in community building.
In a world of transient lifestyles and technology where so many adults find themselves feeling isolated, the confidence to reach out to others and establish real connections is truly priceless.
The Boarding Family
Within the boarding community, the old age themes of ‘relationships’, ‘failure’, ‘group dynamics’, ‘independence’ are addressed regularly by the staff. Some of the more contemporary themes such as ‘social media’, ‘growth mindset’, and ‘mental health’ are also tackled ‘head on’ by the Housemaster or Housemistress, Tutor or the House Assistant within the House.
With this wonderfully open relationship with the boarding house staff, the children learn to trust the judgement of the House team and work alongside them to improve all aspects of the House. I deliberately use the word ‘trust’ as I know that the House Team will certainly trust the children until that trust is broken thereby strengthening the relationship that much further.
Developing Skills and Independence
It is easy to assume that boarding houses offer constant harmony and idyllic conditions. It is closer to the truth to say that the profound relationships that are built over the five years at a senior school arise because they have been stretched and strained to the limit, and then reformed.
Reflection and resilience, therefore, play huge roles and these two skills that are developed over time will certainly stand the test of time. The yearly House reunions at Malvern College regularly see 150 alumni coming together to reminisce over lunch and a tour of the latest development in the boarding house; surely this speaks volumes for the system.
Adolescents grow quickly into dependable young adults in a boarding house having experienced genuine responsibility such as sitting on the College Council, being a Head of House, Deputy Head of House or indeed a ‘Peer Mentor’. They will take skills that they learn in these positions into the big wide world and be better for it, whatever the future holds for them.
Many young adults struggle adjusting to life outside the home at university and beyond. Learning self regulation, independence, resilience, and how to build a network of people to reach out to during the inevitable difficulties of life can make a world of difference. I believe it’s important for students to be able to grow and test these traits within a safe environment where support is never far away if needed.
A Feeling of Belonging
It is easy to be sceptical of the boarding environment, but I strongly believe that it is the lynch pin of a child’s development at school. The feeling of being a part of it all is second to none whether that is celebrating a victory in an inter-house match, performing in the house singing competition, or simply sharing a pizza on a Saturday evening.
Humans are innately social and thrive in small, close-knit communities, and adolescents are no different. This is where we find challenge and support, define what we are like and what we are not, and form a strong sense of self.
Boarding houses certainly promote integrity, endeavour, responsibility and curiosity to name but a few, and it is not hard to see why they work, and work well.
Tom Newman | Senior Admissions Advisor & Teacher of Chemistry
Close to 80% of the school population of Malvern College are regular boarders. We’re proud of the sense of community formed within our boarding houses, inspired by century old traditions and adapted to provide strong pastoral care in the modern day. We offer both responsive Full Boarding and Day Boarding for up to three nights per week.
If you would like to learn more about opportunities to board at one of England’s Great Independent Schools, take a look at our boarding pages or send us an enquiry.